just trying to figure out what to do

Im really hating my self right now all i do is make mistake after mistake and destroy everything xxxxxxxxx
Ive really upset SJ and i dont know how to sort it xx i dont fully know whats wrong to be honest xxxxxxxxxx
All i know is that im an idiot and a bad boyfriend right now xxxxx and that i was a total arse to her xxxxxxxxx
I really dont deserve her and i really dont want to lose her xxxxxxxxxxxx
I love her so so much and really cant wait to see her xxxxxxxxxxx
But if i continue like this then she isnt even going to want to see me and i will of lost everything xxxxxxxxxxx
Im already losing the will to live xxxxxxxxxxxxxx

I love you xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

loving my perfect girl

I really really love SJ she always knows how to make me feel happy and how to cheer me up xxxxxxxxxx
Shes my dreams come true and makes me so happy xxxxxxxx
I really cant wait till easter and to be able to see her xxxxxxxxx

love you babe
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

cousins baby

today has been really good ive met my cousins new baby boy edward and he is really cute xxxxxx
i also found out i cannot hold a baby lol :p xxxxxxx
i really really love sj and were really good again xxxxxxxx
i miss her so much and cant wait till easter when i can see her again xxxxxxxxxx
it will be amazing expecially to celebrate our first year together xxxxxxxxxxxxx